Roseanne Barr is reporting the Ark of the Covenant is in Iran rather than in a top secret government warehouse. Does Indiana Jones know? Probably not, since this and so much more were all recently revealed to Roseanne by a goddess during a meditation trance the other day. Roseanne also offers a new take on the Gaza situation.

Gaza? Shamaza, what about Madoff? Adam Horowitz answers the tough questions on the Huffington Post.

Balancing out the intensity, Jeff Ross talks about the new Jewish porn, “I Don’t Do That,” a sequel to “Get That Thing Out of My Face After the Jump. Continue »

There’s plenty for a Jew to do while the goys are waiting for Dasher,  Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen.  (What exactly does a reindeer need to do to get a name like Vixen?)

Once you’ve lit your 4th Jamie Sneider, then head on over to the World’s Largest Menorah on 5th Ave.

Not in NYC?  No problem - celebrate the power of the Chanukah by ordering your very own Jewish Women of the Year Calendar.

Feel like getting your hora on?  Check out Heeb Magazine’s Heebonism parties in SF, Miami, Denver and Portland (of course there’s a NYC party on the LES).

Too lazy to actually engage?    Let Dr. Blogstein do the work.  Sit back, relax and you listen to the Best of Dr. Blogstein’s Radio Happy Hour 2008. It will be the greatest “quick witted, high concept and laugh inducing conversation” you’ve never had.

Check back for more updates or let me know what you suggest.

I’m not quite sure what to say about this 2009 Calendar featuring a NY JAP living in LA named, Jamie Sneider.  Jamie’s myriad of naked poses celebrating the Jewish Woman and baked goods brings up all kind of feelings for me, which are best expressed in a pie chart -

Click to see more of Jamie’s calendar pin ups and info on where to get this wonderful Hanukkah gift>>>

Continue »

Make this Hanukkah truly special by getting your loved ones Joe Biden Memorial Plates.

Thanks Shoot The Messenger for another hysterical show last night and for the informative interview with Village Voice gossip column, Michael Musto on glory holes - similar to the Hasidic, gay men are fond of having sex through a hole before they actually get to hole. However, unlike our pious tribal men’s love for a circular hole in a sheet, gay men prefer square holes cut between bathroom stalls or private video booths at the adult bookstore. Thanks Michael Musto for once again teaching me that all people - no matter race, sexuality or religion - share a common ground.  I think I might just buy you a Joe Biden plate for Hanukkah.

Joan Rivers got the hook and was yanked off AOL after The Suits thought her Emmy Red Carpet routine with daughter Melissa was too offensive.  Maybe the head suit has a mustache and was offended when Joan called Tom Hanks stache “hair from the Third Reich.”  This was only the beginning of the Fuhrer references.  Joan went on to talk about Julia Louis-Dreyfus - “luckily she waxed her mustache. I know one of her neighbors, and if she leaves it for two or three weeks she looks just like Hitler . . .”  And of course  America’s favorite fraulein - Heidi Klum was an easy target, but Joan could have come up with a better zinger than “Super Nazi”  - Hell she’s such an Aryan Jewel, Hitler would have dumped Eva Braun for her (Seal well, he would have been showering with us).

Joan told Page Six, “I was shocked that the suits at AOL have no humor . . . But that’s OK. I’ve been gagged more times than Linda Lovelace. AOL is like Holocaust deniers. They want us to believe 6 million Jews spent World War II in Boca and Anne Frank was in an attic for two years looking for Christmas ornaments.”

The great collaboration of Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates that was to infuse Microsoft with an air of hip freshness is over. Microsoft reps deny that the ads featuring the comic duo were pulled in response to criticism, instead claiming, “All along we said we were having a teaser campaign. We’re getting ready to start the second phase. This was the plan all along.”

Though, the above ad did not inspire me to return to a PC, it was still pretty funny.

Sarah Silverman might have F*cked Matt Damon for an Emmy, but she was all about showing her appreciation for her ex- goy toy, Jimmy Kimmel while accepting her Emmy for Best Original Music and Lyrics on Saturday night.  “Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart – ohh, who’ll always have a place in my heart,” Silverman said

CHEATING is the real reason SNL alum, Chris Kattan’s  marriage to Sunshine Tutt busted up after only eight week.  So now the questions is who was cheating on who?  And of course this is where the drama begins.  According to the Enquirer, his pals say that Chris caught Sunshine with her ex-boyfriend.

“He was away making a film, came home unexpectedly - and dumped her on the spot. Chris contacted his attorney and told the lawyer to ‘work it out - pay her a lump sum so we can both move on.’”

…Meanwhile, Sunshine’s family claims it was Kattan who had wandering eyes.

Her angry grandmother Jean Tutt told The Enquirer that the allegation that Sunshine returned to an old boyfriend “is a downright lie! Sunshine was absolutely crushed.

Meanwhile, Sunshine’s grandmother says “Personally, I never really understood what she saw in him, but that didn’t matter to us.”

I agree with Old Tut - Mango just doesn’t do it for me either.

A yid joke by a goy can go awry - just ask Halle Berry - but in between drinking tequila and eating beans and rice Carlos Mencia does it right.