Has the invitable happened?  Have Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan broken up?  Access Hollywood and Perez say yes, so it must be true.   However, LiLo has taken to her MySpace page and is battling the rumors like a little firefighter in a forest fire.

little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It’s really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE
xoxox Lindsay

Hmmm, I love TRUE info.  I can’t wait for Samantha to post the truth.   Actually, this story will get even better once Papa Lohan gets in on the action with his new blog.  Stay tuned for the truth!

In the mean time, check out the very best of Samantha and Lindsay’s fights AFTER The JUMP>>> Continue »

TMZ reports that Lindsay Lohan freaked out at Miami International Airport yesterday as she caught a return flight home to LA with Samantha.  LiLo cried and screamed in ways reminiscent of a 18 month old with a double ear infection trapped in a baby seat without a bottle at thirty thousand feet.  She was so bad that an airline attendant asked if she wanted to get off the plane.  The question at hand isn’t what the Sapphic couple were fighting about, but how long before Samantha checks back into the hospital for exhaustion.  Between Lindsay’s temper tantrums, Michael Lohan’s blog and the constant re-playing of Lindsay’s Bossy in her head, no wonder the poor girl needs diazepam on a drip.

Want to fee like Sam? Listen to Lindsay After the Jump >> Continue »

It’s a bit long, but this pretty funny. A Nice Jewish Girl pranks her parents with a phone call on Z100 saying she’s dating an Italian. The parents FREAK! “Who’s going to pay for the heart attack I almost had?”

JEWSSIP would blow up, if only I had a celebrity child that I could exploit.  Damn, Michael Lohan beat me to it.  He’s already bred Lindsay to get the hits while he sorts the family’s dirty laundry.   Of course he claims to be setting the record straight.  After all, his new website says he is “99 per cent” sure Samantha Ronson wrote on LiLo’s mySpace page that he had confessed to fathering an illegitimate child.

“My father just let my family and me know, amongst other things, that he had another child after my little sister Aliana.

“He cheated on my mother and that really sucks… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”

Samantha said: “Ha! That’s funny, but I don’t ghost-write My Space blogs. Good thing he left that one per cent window open so he wasn’t 100 per cent wrong for once.”

Good job Samantha.  Numbers don’t lie no matter how many sets of cooked books you have.

The Reason for all this bull after the jump + Boobies>>>

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Look what controlling show business has accomplished!  Well done Hot Box Comedy Girls.

“I just want a Chosen One.  Hebrew boys are so much fun.  All I want for Christmas is a Jew”

If you looking for a Jew of your very own to take home, then check out the Nice Jewish Boys Calendar.   Click HERE to participate in our survey and a chance to win $15!  (no joke use it to buy a calendar)

It seems that preparing for a Christmas extravaganza at Caneige Hall alongside his sister, mom and aunt has Rufus Wainwright talking about converting to Judaism -

“Considering the amount of work that’s gone into putting on this Christmas show, when it’s over I will probably convert to Hasidic Judaism,” Wainwright told The Post’s Alisa Wolfson, “but, really, mostly for the assortment of hats.”

Too bad Rufus Wainwright didn’t book the dancing Hasidics as backup dancers.

Star Magazine is reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal (clearly unaffected by the demise of his parents’ 30 year marriage) has unsuccessfully asked Reese Witherspoon to marry him THREE times.  What’s going on?  Is Reese re-enacting her Walk The Line role and turning Jake down like June Carter did countless times to Johnny Cash?  Or perhaps Reese wants to live a life of truth and sees pledging love and intimacy as deceptive since they “aren’t permanently sustainable - or not always, and not for everyone, despite insisting on a no-questions-asked commitment to them.”  Perhaps after experiencing the crushing pain of losing love she’s not so willing “to be beaten into submission by socialization” and return to work in the domestic factory known as marriage.   (From Against Love, A Polemic by Laura Kipnis)

So Jake hold on there boy and just go with the flow.  Remember in the immortal words of Chris Rock, “Marriage is some boring ass s*it”

(For the record I’m not against marriage, just against “toiling in the mine shafts of domesticity” because everyone else is doing it.  I don’t think marriage is quite as much fun as say experimenting with drugs.  Yet, maybe I haven’t found the right drug, oh I mean man.)

Jake watch Chris Rock break it down about marriage>>
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Today I have discovered my favorite Facebook group other than Jewssip —the  Jewish Stoners Union.  This group uses Gematria - assigning numerical values to letters ie A = 1, B = 2 - to unlock the mysterious origins of 420.  Surprisingly the police radio code, California penal code and even Jim Morrison’s death are simply pothead urban legends that have nothing to do with 420. Thanks to the  Jewish Stoners Union we now have the answer…

The word for smoke in Hebrew is Ashan (Ayin Shin Nun). Ayin is 70, Shin is 300, and Nun is 50. 70 + 300 + 50 = 420!!

I wonder if Madonna and A-Rod used gematria (Kabbalah is all about it) to decide to only look for a love nest between Fifth and Park, from 60th Street through the 80s.

My my LiLo is converting before our very eyes.  Today she posted on her MySpace blog about the “oy vey! rumors..”

just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.

samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up

take care
xxLL

In other news, Samantha Ronson’s car died and didn’t come back to life even after she tried jumping it.  I jumped my neighbor’s car last week.  It was very nerve wracking because we only had 15 minutes before the dreaded Ticket Nazis started enforcing alternate side of the street parking.

Yes, yes there is nothing Jewish about goyim as goyim can be Britney Spears, but I just couldn’t ignore her 27th birthday bash this morning on Good Morning America.  She danced a bit more during this Womanizer performance than she did the other night on UK’s X Factor, but overall she just strutted around.  Hmmm… I’m not sure about this comeback.  My favorite part of the GMA bit is when Robin Roberts says Womanizer is the kind of song that “stays in your head ALL day long.” Great! Anyway, Britney Happy Birthday!! Only 3 more years until the awful 20s over and you can relax into your 30s, but hang on Brit Brit cause the wild ride is not even close to over as Mercury Returns

Check out Britney’s Womanizer performance on X Factor>>

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