Gwyneth Paltrow finally gives some advice I like in Goop this week - Recipes for Hanukkah Dinner.
Of course her latkes - Potato and Apple Latkes with Smoked Salmon- recipe is way fancier than my Mama ever made, but it still sounds mighty good.  Actually, these magic latkes might just save Gwyneth’s marriage to Chris Martin - a little lox goes along way especially with some fried potatoes.

I’ve always liked Goldie Hawn - Overboard was one of my favorite movies as a kid - and today I’m liking her even more.  Why?  Laugh In had nothing to do it, but Kate Hudson did.  Seems Goldie has raised her daughter with some good old common sense and compassion.    In an interview about Holiday gifts, Kate talked about getting crafty for her family gifts.

“I think it’s a really weird time and I think that everyone is feeling it.  We all knit. The girls knit. This year I’m doing these great big knit… well, actually I shouldn’t even talk about it because I can’t say it!”

Well sounds like Kate knew better than to flaunt her wealth, unlike Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop Holiday Gift Ideas.   Maybe, Gwynie needs to learn the hard lessons Goldie’s rich and spoiled character, Joanna Slayton encountered when she was thrown Overboard.

Check Goldie Hawn talk about round, hard things of adequate size that burst in your mouth and the exact right moment. >>>

Continue »

InTouch Weekly is reporting that Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez is ALREADY cheating on Madonna.  I’m flabbergasted, really I am!  I haven’t been this shocked since OK! misspelled Ashlee Simpson’s name.  It seems while Gwyneth Paltrow was off begging PETA’s forgiveness for her furry Tods campaign photos, she let A-Rod out of her site.  It only took a second, but when A-Rod saw model Melissa Britos (looking virginal in her Cape Fear Wedding shoot) descend the Fontainebleau’s famed “Staircase to Nowhere,” he completely forgot about bossy old Madonna.  Modeling virginal whites

One of the model’s friends said, “He became obsessed with her. He sent her at least a dozen text messages, asking her to spend time with him.”

A few days later Melissa was allegedly seen doing the walk of shame (translation - coming home after a hook-up wearing clothes from the night before) from A-Rod’s car to her hotel.

One of A-Rod’s friends tried to clarify the situation with In Touch:

“Alex is definitely excited by Madonna and wants to spend time with her. But when she’s not around and he is left to his own devices, he wants the company of other beautiful women. He can’t help it. It’s in his nature.”

In his nature?  Perhaps we can to begin to understand A-Rod’s nature by applying Kabbalah practices to this scandal and using Gematria - I will have to consult with the macher over at the Jewish Stoners Union.  Perhaps this is what Madonna is doing right now with Rabbi Berg.  Stay tuned for further analysis

The Big 3 Automakers are groveling in DC for federal aid, unions are making concessions so their members still have jobs and people are being trampled at Walmart.  All you have to do is glance at the headlines of any newspaper, news site or the stock market ticker (no in depth reading necessary ) to see that we are in the midst of a global economic crisis.  Everybody knows this except for GWYNETH PALTROW. In this week’s GOOP she continues to suggest must-have items that are too expensive for us poor folk (most of the cheaper items are listed as “starting from”).  Gwynie Baby, have you lost your mind?  $119 for a Paella kit - it’s yellow rice and seafood isn’t included. $1,850 for a Hermes watch “the ultimate anti-credit crunch present…but a girl can dream.” HELLO!! Nobody has credit, this is why the shit is going down and LAY AWAY has made a comeback. The cheapest item listed is a book on manners at 11.99 GBP (18$). Gwynie get this book and read up on flaunting wealth. Yet, for some reason I don’t think she’ll emerge from her fur-lined bubble and next week she’ll be sharing fabulous cake recipes that will feed us when we have no more money left for bread. Good thing she listed a cake knife for $75 - I can get a knife and cake server set at Target for $29.99

More Gwyneth news from the Fontainebleau Hotel…

PETA vice president Dan Mathews tells UsWeekly.com that Gwynie approached him and apologized for wearing fur in the Tod’s advertising campaign.

“I didn’t pay much attention to it, and when I noticed it was fur, I assumed it was fake fur, but did not ask, so it’s my fault. I know it’s not a great excuse, but I hope you and your members understand.”

Whatever Gwynie!  If your so concerned about the ethical treatment of animals, why are you all about killing the turkey?  This week’s Goop newsletter is dedicated to cooking up Tom the Turkey for Thanksgiving in a variety of ways.  Admit it Gwyneth, you loved the way that soft, lusciously thick fox fur felt on your skin, just as much as you love a crispy drum stick.  Please if you cared about PETA peeps, you would have included some Tofurkey recipe too.

Click to get some of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Thanksgiving Recipes from Goop Continue »

Really?  Have Madonna and Gwyneth signed a divorce pact?  Will Chris Martin be dumped in the pub to drink warm beer with Guy Ritchie?  Page Six is reporting that Fontainebleau owner Jeff Soffer flew Gwyneth down to Miami for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show at the reopened hotel.  Gwyneth partied with Madonna’s A-Rod and Soffer in the VIP section, instead of seeing hubby, Chris Martin’s Coldplay gig.  The next day she hung with Kate Hudson and Soffer on a yacht.

I got to tell you,  I’m not impressed with this split rumor.  How many times can you expect a gal to see Coldplay?  This doesn’t mean the marriage is failing, it probably means she can’t bare to hear Yellow again.    The most interesting part about this is that Gwynie attended a bra fashion show, but forget to put hers on (check out Sickitten’s bra suggestions).  Or maybe Page Six is right and she lost it on Soffer’s plane?

Forget Madge’s divorce from Guy Ritche and all her rules - BORING.  The real story of interest isn’t A-Rod - a passing fancy, but the future of Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow’s relationship.  As I’ve stated before, my money is on Madonna chucking her half of the Best Friend necklace leaving Gwynie all alone holding the “est end.” However, last week The SUN reported that the Material Girl was begging Gwyneth to move to NYC, but now I see the National Enquirer says that Gwyneth was told to INHALE when it comes to talking about Madonna’s divorce.

“If you want to help me and be supportive of me, then keep your mouth SHUT! Say nothing about me or my divorce,” the tense Material Girl has warned her friend.

Ultimate Mini Dress

In this week’s Goop, Gwyneth talks about her uniform-”a well-cut, well-proportioned black dress has gotten me through many a fashion crisis”.  I have to agree with Gwynie - a hot pink dress is good for only so long, but you can never go wrong with the little black dress.  Glad to see that G thought of us poor folk and selected pieces from Topshop for her LBD look book.  However, I’d be calling her G-Love if she achieved even just one of these get-ups for under $100.

Classic Knee-length Dress Worn Alone and With a Belt and The Sweater Dress

Click to see Gwyneth and the Shift Dress Worn 2 ways Continue »

There’s a million ways to wear black lace and it’s obvious that Gwyneth’s way is not one of them.  It’s obvious that the dress is horrendous, but I think her shoes are the worst part.  This dress is up there with that sheer black Alexander McQueen numbers she wore a few years ago to the Oscars.

For this week’s Goop e-newsletter, Gwyneth did a nice little Time Out wrap up on things to see.

The absolute best thing to see at the moment is the changing leaves. I’ve just come back from a week in New York where the trees looked ablaze. If you live in a place where the seasons change, enjoy this time of year!

Speaking of her time in NYC, The Sun is reporting the Gwyneth’s Be-Fri, Madonna, is begging her to give up London and come back to the Big Apple with Lil’ Apple and Moses.  I find this surprising, I thought for sure Madge would be giving G-Love the boot as she morphed into her newest identity.

More Goop with pics of Gwynie’s Must See Paintings After the Jump Continue »

In case yesterday’s pancakes weren’t enough, here’s some more Gwyneth vamping it up.  Can a girl who doesn’t eat bacon, really be such a Pepper Pott ?  (By the Way, I have some exciting personal news… I am in the running to be the spokesman for the Other White Meat!  That’s right, seems like in 5769, I’ll not only be the source of all your Celeb News from a Higher Authority but your Source for Pork too!  Hmmm… I wonder if this could result in some conflict — “No Lies,” I know you have thing about intermarriage, what about pork?)