High gas prices aren’t the only thing affecting drivers - those traveling along I-295 in New Jersey are crossing their legs now that the Howard Stern Rest Stop is officially closed.  The official word given by the New Jersey Transportation office to the New York Post is that the nation’s economic recession is to blame.  However, the word across stalls in the Garden State is that the shock jock’s pee post was closed last year because drivers were having sex rather than taking a whiz. For those interested in going #1 or #2, portable toilets were installed but horny motorists ruined it for everybody and now the entire parking lot is closed off.

Page Six reports that The Jewish Theater of New York, “which gets in trouble all the time with its incendiary shows”, has another hot latkes on the griddle.

Tuvia Tenenbom’s “Mountain Jews,” debuting Nov. 9, is about a Brooklyn Orthodox Jew named Isaac, who schleps his “beautiful, Kosher American” bride to a sacred Israeli mountain to consummate their marriage, only to be foiled when she insists on eating rugelach all night. Then, a prophet named Muhammad shows up to declare that unless he gets the bride for himself, “my followers will blow themselves up in Gaza, Mali, Detroit, Denmark, Pakistan, Chicago and al-Quds to protect my lost honor.” In 2005, Tenenbom caused a stir when he had Howard Stern’s statuesque daughter, Emily, appear nude in “Kabalah,” incurring the shock jock’s wrath. And last year, his play “Last Jew in Europe” had Polish officials blasting its depiction of endemic anti-Semitism in today’s Poland.

In all my excitement over the ultimate Shiksa, Ivanka Trump choosing to become a JAP, I missed the Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky nupitals. Better yet I missed Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel’s string of NYC dates (Hello his hand is on her tush!) as they rekindle their love or whatever it is they are not calling it - “It’s not like a big drama thing, we’re just not defining it. We’re just being right now. Is that okaaaay?” Sarah said on The View yesterday morning.

So to recap - Howard and Beth got hitched on Friday night at the fancy shmancy NYC restaurant Le Cirque.

Famous guests included Donald Trump, Barbara Walters, Billy Joel, John Stamos, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Kelly Ripa, Joan Rivers and his radio sidekicks, Robin Quivers, Artie Lang and Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’Abate. Kelly Ripa’s husband Mark Consuelos was presided over the ceremony and

Beth told Usmagazine.com that “Mark Consuelos was the greatest rev on the face of the earth.” She also said, “And Howard was just as handsome as John Stamos in his suit.” That must have been some suit.

As Lehman folded, Merrill sold and the Market plunged, the Fed scurried and Howard Stern pranked CNN. While CNN’s Allan Chernoff reported on the carnage at Lehman Brothers midtown headquarters, two Stern Show regulars, Richard Christy and Sal “The Stockbroker” Governale, made out behind him licking each others nipples and covering each other with kisses. Hysterical - almost as funny as all the money that was lost yesterday.

Check out Cityfile’s guide on How To Lose Your Job Gracefully

Natalie the VIRGIN is for Sale!  Howard Stern will be launching the auction of 22 year old Natalie Dylan’s (not her real name) virginity on Sirius radio today.  Stern met Natalie through a of a legal Nevada brothel, where her sister, Avia, already works.  Natalie is planning to use the money from her first screw to pay for a  master’s in marriage and family therapy.   Looks like she will have plenty of experience to pull from after she pops her cherry with the winner of the auction at the brothel.  Watch out Dr. Ruth!

“I understand some people may condemn me,” she admits. “But I think this is empowering. I’m using what I have to better myself.”

Who needs a Rabbi when you have Mark Consuelos, Kelly Rippa’s husband, officiating? Beth Ostrovsky, Howard’s financee, told FoxNews.com that the Ugly Betty star is an ordained minister. Though Kelly will be at the wedding rumored to be in October, it doesn’t look like Regis will be in attendance. “It’s not that kind of thing. It’s spiritual,” Beth said. Guess having the host of Password would drain the chi right out from under the chuppah.

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The end of the Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel affair has impacted more than just the couple… Howard Stern is heartbroken! “I was so upset I had to go take a walk,” Stern said on his Sirius radio show. Luckily, the break-up is not spreading like an eating disorder through an SDT sorority house and Stern’s upcoming nupitals to Beth Ostrosky are still on.