Star Magazine is reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal (clearly unaffected by the demise of his parents’ 30 year marriage) has unsuccessfully asked Reese Witherspoon to marry him THREE times.  What’s going on?  Is Reese re-enacting her Walk The Line role and turning Jake down like June Carter did countless times to Johnny Cash?  Or perhaps Reese wants to live a life of truth and sees pledging love and intimacy as deceptive since they “aren’t permanently sustainable - or not always, and not for everyone, despite insisting on a no-questions-asked commitment to them.”  Perhaps after experiencing the crushing pain of losing love she’s not so willing “to be beaten into submission by socialization” and return to work in the domestic factory known as marriage.   (From Against Love, A Polemic by Laura Kipnis)

So Jake hold on there boy and just go with the flow.  Remember in the immortal words of Chris Rock, “Marriage is some boring ass s*it”

(For the record I’m not against marriage, just against “toiling in the mine shafts of domesticity” because everyone else is doing it.  I don’t think marriage is quite as much fun as say experimenting with drugs.  Yet, maybe I haven’t found the right drug, oh I mean man.)

Jake watch Chris Rock break it down about marriage>>
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After thirty years of marriage, Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal’s parents have filed for divorce.

“This marks the 30th wedding anniversary of my parents,” Jake said at a 2007 press conference. “A young man came up to my dad and asked him, ‘What’s it like being married to the same woman for 30 years?’ My dad answered, ‘She’s not the same woman.’”

That’s because she didn’t stay tied to her chair, like daughter Maggie.

Abbie Cornish lured Ryan Phillippe, into her trailer on the set of Stop Loss and out of his marriage with Reese Witherspoon.  Now Whornish is being considered for the leading lady role opposite Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese’s new love, in a sci-fi flick.  It would definitely be weird, but not as outrageous as Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston in a movie together.

People Magazine reports that it’s all lies when it comes to news that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are engaged and planning a wedding. So if they aren’t engaged yet when are they are getting engaged? Come one, we know it’s coming - it’s either that or a break up.

(MARCO Pop Art)

Reese Witherspoon has it all under control when it comes to getting Jake Gyllenhaal whipped into shape.  According to Star Magazine’s source, “Reese believes in wide-open communication, and she discussed at length with him what is best for her household.”

 This means no feet on the furniture, f*cking cursing and no friends over after midnight.  Reese has accomplished this with daily discussions around the dinner table and checking in with each other before making plans.  So this open communication really works?    Maybe it will work better than freaking out!  Is this what Reese learned after things imploded with Ryan Phillipe?

Jake Gyllenhaal, in London filming “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time,” was spotted leaving Scott’s Seafood Restaurant with his “Legally Blonde” Shiksa, Reese Witherspoon. The two lovebirds reportedly dined with “National Treasure” producer Jerry Bruckheimer. Reese supposedly ate shrimp, but Jerry and Jake stayed away from the shellfish.