Has the invitable happened?  Have Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan broken up?  Access Hollywood and Perez say yes, so it must be true.   However, LiLo has taken to her MySpace page and is battling the rumors like a little firefighter in a forest fire.

little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It’s really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE
xoxox Lindsay

Hmmm, I love TRUE info.  I can’t wait for Samantha to post the truth.   Actually, this story will get even better once Papa Lohan gets in on the action with his new blog.  Stay tuned for the truth!

In the mean time, check out the very best of Samantha and Lindsay’s fights AFTER The JUMP>>> Continue »

TMZ reports that Lindsay Lohan freaked out at Miami International Airport yesterday as she caught a return flight home to LA with Samantha.  LiLo cried and screamed in ways reminiscent of a 18 month old with a double ear infection trapped in a baby seat without a bottle at thirty thousand feet.  She was so bad that an airline attendant asked if she wanted to get off the plane.  The question at hand isn’t what the Sapphic couple were fighting about, but how long before Samantha checks back into the hospital for exhaustion.  Between Lindsay’s temper tantrums, Michael Lohan’s blog and the constant re-playing of Lindsay’s Bossy in her head, no wonder the poor girl needs diazepam on a drip.

Want to fee like Sam? Listen to Lindsay After the Jump >> Continue »

JEWSSIP would blow up, if only I had a celebrity child that I could exploit.  Damn, Michael Lohan beat me to it.  He’s already bred Lindsay to get the hits while he sorts the family’s dirty laundry.   Of course he claims to be setting the record straight.  After all, his new website says he is “99 per cent” sure Samantha Ronson wrote on LiLo’s mySpace page that he had confessed to fathering an illegitimate child.

“My father just let my family and me know, amongst other things, that he had another child after my little sister Aliana.

“He cheated on my mother and that really sucks… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”

Samantha said: “Ha! That’s funny, but I don’t ghost-write My Space blogs. Good thing he left that one per cent window open so he wasn’t 100 per cent wrong for once.”

Good job Samantha.  Numbers don’t lie no matter how many sets of cooked books you have.

The Reason for all this bull after the jump + Boobies>>>

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My my LiLo is converting before our very eyes.  Today she posted on her MySpace blog about the “oy vey! rumors..”

just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.

samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up

take care
xxLL

In other news, Samantha Ronson’s car died and didn’t come back to life even after she tried jumping it.  I jumped my neighbor’s car last week.  It was very nerve wracking because we only had 15 minutes before the dreaded Ticket Nazis started enforcing alternate side of the street parking.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark when it comes to Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan.   Apparently Samantha flew into a jealous rage last night after Lindsay started bumping and grinding with ex-Calum Best at some London club. Things got ugly when Samantha unleashed her fists of fury on Lindsay - punches were thrown and hair was pulled before Calum broke the two apart.

Hmmm, after ignoring Calum (son of famed footie (aka soccer) player George Best), why did LiLo suddenly welcome him back to her world on the dance floor?   Why do people insist that her actions are related to her inability to define her sexuality in the Harper’s Bazaar interview and that dancing with Calum clearly proves she misses men?  Perhaps this is all a calculated PR move aimed at keeping Lindsay’s status as heterosexual alive.  After all, today the two fighting lesbians jetted off to Dubai where Prop 8 would never be challenged.  In fact, in September a Lebanese lesbian and her Bulgarian companion were sentenced to one month in prison for kissing and making out on a public beach in Dubai.

Though I was wrong about Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan getting engaged last week, I sure was RIGHT when I wrote that Lindsay Lohan had added PETA to groups that hated her.  Sometimes I feel like Cassandra, the blind prophet, always telling of things to come and being ignored (like NY Post overlooking Jewssip’s conversion story on Ivanka Trump).  Poor LiLo wore her fab black fur coat (same one that she wore in London) and got belted with flour in Paris on Sat night by a PETA activist.

Samantha immediately took to her MySpace blog and fired off an op-ed denoucning PETA’s actions.

“The girl who threw [the flour] acted like an animal herself.  I take that back, it’s an insult to animals to group her in with them, my dog is FAR more civilized than that person.”

“I think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. Nice job, lady.”

As much as I respect the passion of PETA activists, I wish they could put some of their chutzpah towards helping helpless abused children without a voice.  Drawing attention to atrocities plauging our fellow man (like the horrid acid attacks on Afghan school girls by the Taliban to stop them for going to school) will probably lead to a kinder, safer world for all species rather than concentrating on furry creatures.

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay “Colored Me Bad” Lohan hit London’s Chinawhite last night.  Lilo wore fur and has added PETA to groups that hate her (along with Obama fans and the politically correct).  Still, the crowds turned out to see the couple arrive for Ronson’s DJ gig, including one of Lohan’s ex-flings, Calum Best (son of the greatest Brit soccer player ever George Best - sorry Becks.).  Lilo stuck to the lesbian side of the Kinsey Scale, never once swinging to Middle Earth and giving Calum a whirl.  In fact, she didn’t even talk to Calum.  Perhaps the rumors are true and Samantha and Lindsay will be announcing their engagement in Paris next week.  They leave for the City of Love tomorrow….

Hot on the heels of revealing absolutely nothing in her Harper’s Bazaar interview, Lindsay Lohan is off to London to meet Samantha Ronson’s father, Laurence Ronson. Upon watching LiLo speak so eloquently about Obama (our first “colored” president!  Watch it below), Papa Larry, picked up the phone and said, “Samantha, bring the Putz-less Bird over, it’s time for a sit down.”

Now about that whole “colored” remark -  though the term isn’t in vogue, it’s far from an insult.  Doubt me? If it’s so bad, why hasn’t the NAACP - National Association for the Advancement of Colored People - changed its name?  Times change and so do the terms du jour.  LiLo didn’t mean any harm, she just got stuck in her time capsule.  Fascinating though, if she said, our first President “of color”, nobody would have blinked.  Amazing the difference a preposition can make.

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Goy Toy, Lindsay Lohan, rocks her Harper’s Bazaar December photo shoot better than any Star Search Spokesmodel (including Bobbie Brown who won 13 times). LiLo doesn’t straight out name Samantha Ronson as her love, but says, “I think it’s pretty obvious who I’m seeing. I think it’s no shock to anyone that it’s been going on for quite some time. … She’s a wonderful person and I love her very much.”

With some hard hitting questions, the interviewer gets all Barbara Walters on Lindsay - asking her to define her sexuality. With CA all Pro-Prop 8 and LiLo’s career hitting the skids, she wisely takes the diplomatic route - and admits nothing.

So to wrap up, Harpar’s reports that Lindsay Lohan may be bisexual. This is a wise move because it lets male audiences think they still have a chance and hopefully will convince someone in Hollywood that she still has box office appeal.

For a Star Search Flashback - Click and watch 13X Spokesmodel champ Bobbie Brown Strike a Pose Continue »

Samantha Ronson took to her MySpace blog to express her frustration with Gay Marriage Ban Passing in CA:

“Yup, Miss Piggy and Chicken Little may rest easy, but gay people in Florida and California can no longer get married and gay couples in Arkansas can’t adopt children. G-d forbid a loving family (regardless of sexual orientation) give a needy child a home!”

Hey, Sam - it sucks but at least President-Elect Barack Obama gave Gays a shout out!  Oh and I got to say I’m impressed by your observance of losing the O for God.  You are a better Jew than I.