I’m sick.  I’ve got a fever and nothing seems funny, however, this made me cough only once.

It’s a bit long, but this pretty funny. A Nice Jewish Girl pranks her parents with a phone call on Z100 saying she’s dating an Italian. The parents FREAK! “Who’s going to pay for the heart attack I almost had?”

That was some genius who put Alex Haines (see little man below) in charge of the Good Ship Winehouse.  Though the young bloke in the pea coat had no problem jumping into Amy’s boat, he was barely able to keep her afloat.  Seems Amy’s Boy Friday kept her bed warm as well as buttered her toast and poured the coffee in the morning.  All Wino had to do was craft her pipe and smoke some crack.

“It was like having my own little porn star. Amy was so dirty—she wanted sex all the time. We did it four or five times a day and she’d even wake me up for it. She was addicted to sex like she was to drugs.”

“When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver.”News of the World

Alex, who obviously doesn’t work for Amy anymore, also revealed that Amy was a cutter and bulimic.  He also said, that Wino is haunted that she’ll be in the “27 club,” that is be dead at 27 just like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. Oh Amy, aim higher - start your own club!

JEWSSIP would blow up, if only I had a celebrity child that I could exploit.  Damn, Michael Lohan beat me to it.  He’s already bred Lindsay to get the hits while he sorts the family’s dirty laundry.   Of course he claims to be setting the record straight.  After all, his new website says he is “99 per cent” sure Samantha Ronson wrote on LiLo’s mySpace page that he had confessed to fathering an illegitimate child.

“My father just let my family and me know, amongst other things, that he had another child after my little sister Aliana.

“He cheated on my mother and that really sucks… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”

Samantha said: “Ha! That’s funny, but I don’t ghost-write My Space blogs. Good thing he left that one per cent window open so he wasn’t 100 per cent wrong for once.”

Good job Samantha.  Numbers don’t lie no matter how many sets of cooked books you have.

The Reason for all this bull after the jump + Boobies>>>

Continue »

Thanks to Cityfile’s Ebay detective work, we can smirk and shake our heads at all the Madoff swag hitting the market.  Too bad those binoculars weren’t used sooner to magnify those financial statements.  Or that Madoff flash light could have sure shined some light on the situation.  Oh I can keep going.

Luckily, these Madoff victims haven’t turned all Samurai on us, choosing seppuku over hocking their valuables.   Remember being poor ISN’T that bad.  Even if your tempted to jump out your office window when the American Express Black Card bill arrives, don’t follow R. Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet lead.  If I may take this time to quote my new favorite movie, Defiance, “Our greatest revenge is our survival.”  That’s right, so if it takes leaving the golf course and going back to the shmattas, so be it.  You made it once, you’ll make it again.  Tell the grandkids there’s a new in sleep away camp this summer and it’s called going to work.

Directly from the NY Post via Women’s Wear Daily, the macher of shoes, Stuart Weitzman, is challenging “the ultimate fan” to a ping pong match in his New York showroom. This is not a contest for just any Weitzman fan - buying his shoes full price even in this economy just isn’t enough.  Weitzman  is looking for a fit fast and flexible fan, who can dive for that little white ball and kick off those heels to make the shot. To enter submit a video testimonial telling “Why I think I can beat Stuart Weitzman in pingpong.” The top prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Big Apple, as well as a shoe wardrobe.

Check out ping pong videos from Bruce Lee, Boris -the Mayor of London and of course Forrest Gump >>> Continue »

There’s plenty for a Jew to do while the goys are waiting for Dasher,  Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen.  (What exactly does a reindeer need to do to get a name like Vixen?)

Once you’ve lit your 4th Jamie Sneider, then head on over to the World’s Largest Menorah on 5th Ave.

Not in NYC?  No problem - celebrate the power of the Chanukah by ordering your very own Jewish Women of the Year Calendar.

Feel like getting your hora on?  Check out Heeb Magazine’s Heebonism parties in SF, Miami, Denver and Portland (of course there’s a NYC party on the LES).

Too lazy to actually engage?    Let Dr. Blogstein do the work.  Sit back, relax and you listen to the Best of Dr. Blogstein’s Radio Happy Hour 2008. It will be the greatest “quick witted, high concept and laugh inducing conversation” you’ve never had.

Check back for more updates or let me know what you suggest.

Maccabees - one very very pissed off family. They would have given the Carleones a run for their money.

Short, sweet and the puppets got some attitude.

Definitely results in a smirk, perhaps even a giggle.